spider of DOOOOM!

i am a fully grown man and this creature turns me into a small girl-child. i always thought it was a spider until i just decided to blog about them and now i find out theyre actually camel crickets and im a little less terrified but not much. now that i looked at a picture of it i see it doesnt really even look like a spider but i never stayed around one long enough to notice when i came across one in my garage, or god forbid my bathroom. im usually running for the nearest chemical that i can spray on it or a shoe to smash it with (i prefer things i can spray from a distance that cause instant death, clorox works great.) im blogging about this now because my garage has apparently been infested overnight. this morning i walked out the door and was immediately attacked. one jumped directly onto my pants and i did the dance. you know the dance im talking about. i wont go into detail, but it worked and the evil demon spider cricket was thrown off of my pants and under the car. i went back inside, picked up the clorox, and got mr. clean on his.. i walked away with the adrenaline pumping and -2 years off my life, but thankful for my schools dress code for once. i cant even imagine what i would have done if i had been wearing shorts. and like that wasnt enough terror for one day there was one on the wall when i went to take the trash out, it was about four feet up. my first instinct was something to spray of course but i didnt want to mess up to the wall because that would get me in trouble. so with no other options i gave it the old high-kick, instant death to satan bug. i win.