hey car, why are you so loud?

this is  a letter to my car, a '96 ford explorer. it makes loud noises now. it sounds a lot like i punched holes in my exhaust, but i did not, theyre there though. rust did that to my car, and now people look at me at red lights. i dont want people to do that. i might put a sign on my car that says i didnt punch holes in my exhaust. then people might realize this is not may fault and they shouldnt stare with a condescendingly at my poor little car. if my car were a man it would be super old and it would have gray, and very dirty hair and body and a raspy smoker voice and it would sometimes forget the time and my favorite radio staions. occasionally when im driving down the road, i need to stop so i put my foot on the brake, when i do this the radio stations go crazy and run up in number until i stop touching my brakes. my car is ghetto thats all.