shuffle, oh magical shuffle.

 so today i was driving to lunch with my friend zach and i had my ipod on shuffle, so random songs being chosen out of 2514 a lot of which are from my phases of bad rap, and some hard rock music that tries to  make me hurt myself. when those songs come on they get skipped which is a real chore while im driving because the fm transmitter i have is awful and it only works in one spot, which is about 5 inches out of my reach when im in my driving position. this is why i usually just leave it on playlists, but theres a problem with my playlists and thats that i have a hard time remembering which songs out of the 2514 i want to put on them. so i just decided to try out full shuffle and i hit some shuffle gold. i listed the songs that my ipod chose below. i only had to skip two of 24 and the 22 were songs i like a lot and i had forgotten about some, so it just made me happy...

1.  avett brothers - colorshow
2. matt costa - behind the moon
3. the weepies - wish i could forget
4. jeff buckley - hallelujah
5. kings of leon - slow night
6. skrubz - rythem
7. counting crows - round here
8. pink floyd - party sequence
9. akon - mr. lonley (not in the mood, skipped it)
10. major lazer - pon de floor
11. wyclef jean - if i was president
12. kings of leon - charmer
13. brian mcknight - the only one for me (skipped it)
14. shannon mcarthur - side to side
15. grateful dead - shakedown street
16. trevor hall - under the blanket
17. rusted root - lost in a crowed
18. iron and wine - walking far from home
19. joshua radin - what if you
20. the arcade fire - wake up
21. coldplay - yellow
22. jack johnson - never know (one of the few jack johnson songs i actually like)
23. mumford & sons - the cave
24. dr. dog - heart it races

whats the meaning of life

i dont know, whats the meaning of chocolate, or lizards that change colors, or all the gross stuff down in my keyboard, or paper weights, or giraffes and ugly dogs, or music that sucks or kids with red hair, or peas (peas are gross), or pizzas that smell good but taste funny, or objects made out of wood, or chester drawers, or trees that dont have limbs on the bottom, or chairs that swivel, or anything that swivels, or ink pens, or punctuation in writing or thousand island salad dressing, or that s in island, or cooked vegetables, or funny looking clouds, or lint that gets stuck to me, or pillow cases, or cars with more than three wheels, or paper clips, or hair dye, or jungle cats, or salt water, or mice.

i fix.

thats a serious bubble, even if a human could blow a bubble that big with their mouth i would be impressed. other than that i have some  problems with this comic. problem number one, theres only 1 reindeer, everyone knows that one reindeer cant pull the weight of santas sleigh, i mean comon thats rediculous. problem two, santas sleigh is not green, its red. attention to detail is crucial to comic strips so i give this comic a D- because of problems i have pointed out. i cant laugh even if the words were funny so...

i fix. 

facebook is like jail

this is funny. theres no other way to describe it. it makes so much sense while making no sense at all, so its a winner. i found it on stumbleupon. i love stumbleupon, i love it more than a lot of things i own. i love it more than the pillow i have that pokes me with the tips of the little feathers, but is still really comfortable. i love it more than my garage door opener. i love it more than the scratchy towel, and even one of the soft towels i sometimes use to dry off after showering. i love it more than the keyboard im typing on right now. i love it more than burger king, which i dont love very much at all so its not a big deal. i love it more than the back left speaker in my car than rattles when music plays on it. i love it more than my favorite pen that i lost. i love it more than someone i dont talk to very much, or maybe the same amount. i love it more than my first cat which was probably satan but it ran away so its fine. i love it more than people that want to hurt me. i love it more than a reindeer shaped cookie cutter. i love it more than a very large bullfrog. i love it more than any show that comes on abc family, except for americas funniest home video of course. i love it more than the small bush with thorns thats outside my house. i love it more than socks that match. i love it more than pickles and anything that is pickled. i love it more than cinnamon toast crunch. and finally i love it more than gardening and apple orchards that dont produce many apples.

black list.

1. "lol"
2. brendan fraser
3. short hair on women
4. peas
5. movies with dwayne johnson
6. people who wear camouflage in public places
7. competitive eaters
8. when someone repeats something more than twice
9. sticky keyboards
10. hair in my food
11. people who turn things that have no business being a competition into a competition
12. large family portraits
13. the grammar police
14. short door frames
15. big sunglasses
16. target employees that steal my wallet
17. fat cats
18. trucks that are lifted more than 3 inches
19. tools
20. astro vans

i need something fun to collect

i used to collect figures of frogs when i was a child, then i collected playing cards and i usually lost a good amount of the stack almost instantly because i liked throwing them more than collecting them. all that stuff got boring after a while and now i feel i might want to collect things again, i just dont know what to collect. it has to be something cheap because i dont have a lot of money to spend on random things that dont really matter. i could collect stamps, but then id be a freak and people wouldnt like me anymore. i could collect coins but i think id run into the same problem as stamps. what im going to collect will be awesome and free, but theres a lot of awesome things that are free. i need to get more specific, like self portraits of strangers made of playdoh or maybe just any sculpture made of playdoh. i could collect everything and put all of it in my garage but then i might lose things in there that i need, like my cat. if my cat got lost in my clutter collection it would die and smell weird and ruin my collection. so i cant do that. maybe staplers but probably not. ive just thought of something that would make a great collection, pictures of midgets drawn by old people. i dont know about collecting them but i would defiantly like to see them. i would just choose any old people though, theyed have to be crazy for starters, because theyd think the midgets were crazy things like leprechauns or ghosts so their drawing would be better.

dream blog #1

last night i had a dream, people in this dream were my family and my friend zach and some random people from a gym and a pond.

first thing i remember was that there was a natural disaster of some sort. my family was forced to move into an abandoned warehouse/hotel. zach needed an ironing board and i went to the gym to get him one. ithe gym was like globo gym from dodgeball, but it was red. they threw medicine balls at me before i could get the ironing board...i was back in the hotel-warehouse and we knew someone was a traitor in the group and we didnt know who it was. when we walked in the door, zach went to his room. i was laying on the floor and i looked down the long hall and i saw him get our suitcases, which were balloons, and jump out the window.i decided he must be the traitor since he stole our suitcases and jumped out the window so i ran after him. i jumped out the window, onto the rusty old balcony. he was running into the bushes below me, there was no time to use the stairs so in a full sprint i grabbed on to the railing and jumped. it flipped me down to the ground, matrix style. i chased after him and caught him on the other side of a pond and we started fighting. he had a big bag of drugs now. we were trying to punch but neither of us could punch hard. after we stopped fighting he told me he wasnt the traitor and he just left so he could do his drugs away from my family, they had spilled all over the grass during our tussle. i convinced him he didnt need his drugs and we started to go back to the hotel-warehouse. we had to cross a little river that flowed out of the pond to get back. there was a monster in the river. it had a giant, flat head and a little body. it ate a family playing in the river beside us in one big flat-headed bite. we jumped across the little river and thats all i remember.

michael is a classy man

this mans name is michael. i dont know know him, but i wish i did. he made a website just to show off his kilts. it takes a real man to wear a knee-length denim skirt, and even more of a man to model it on his own website. michael is confidence. see that stick he has? i bet he uses it to kill bears and rescue children from hungry vikings. regular pants cant contain michael. he would wear them if he could, but pants are afraid of him, and who can blame them, hes like superman with a mustache. this is from his website,
"Worn with sandals and rugby shirt for a casual look."
michael, you say casual, i say mind-blowing. thank you for blessing the world.
http://www.longshadows.us/michael_kilts.html

hey weather, its me again.

so i know i said i didnt want it to be hot anymore. for a while i thought we were good, giving us fall weather during fall and what not, but its still fall now. i think you might have forgotten because it snowed last week. a little snow is cool and everything but it wasnt enough to get me out of school, and theres still some left because it hasnt been warmer than thirty five degrees in a week, and theres ice on the lake. its cold, youre being mean again and i dont appreciate it. i just want my fall weather for a few more weeks, its my favorite. so hop on that and give me highs of sixty if you dont mind. thanks weather, love you.

im a little scared of this.

this picture creeps me out. i dont really know why, but you should be afraid too because that dog is wearing pants. he acts like its no big deal, but i think we all know it is a big deal. look at the pants, why do they have red stuff on the bottom? its a mystery, a scary one. my next question is, does this dog also speak words like a person because its wearing clothes like one. could it possibly be a human who has just been turned into a dog and hes still wearing his clothes? if someone goes to the trouble to dress their dog like a human, there should be an investigation. the owner of this dog, if it has one, should be investigated. lets be honest theyre probably a criminal, or possibly a family of criminals like the mob. only a mobster would put pants on a dog.